“I’m part of an anthology book project called ‘What is love’”. “Oh cool! Hey, guess what happened to me last week?” The disinterest is familiar, but I don’t let it catch or my disappointment show. Instead, I ask, “What happened”? Since that conversation, I’ve been reflecting on interest. Being interested. Receiving interest. It feels sparse … Continue reading The Gift of Interest: Why It Matters
Tag: Listening
Two Ears, One Mouth
I have set myself a “conversation” goal for 2025. Ask more questions. Say less. It's too easy after a little bit of listening to think I have enough information to give you all the answers. When a conversation repeats, despite my (self-assessed) fabulous advice, that’s a sign. What’s needed this time, is not the same … Continue reading Two Ears, One Mouth
No more questions.
Last week my son wasn’t feeling well, so I asked him a series of questions about his symptoms. Within minutes, he said, “No more questions”. As I reflected on that later I realised that my enquiries into his well-being were also driven by a need in me to hear that he was ok. If he … Continue reading No more questions.
The promise that changes everything
Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash I’ve just finished reading “The promise that changes everything” by Nancy Kline. The promise that changes everything…. I won’t interrupt you. Ever since reading this book – I’ve been trying. Really trying. And mostly failing. I console myself – that each conversation is another opportunity to practice. I … Continue reading The promise that changes everything
Improvisational friends
I am constantly working on my listening skills and trying to keep the advice monster at bay. These good intentions of mine regularly need a reset, often daily, in an ongoing effort to “try again.” Michael Lewis on The Tim Ferriss podcast shared how he and his close friends tend to obey the rules … Continue reading Improvisational friends
No more advice!
This week I gave a friend advice on how to get from where she was to where I thought she wanted to be. Quickly. Hands dusted, job done! That good advice didn’t pan out well. I felt confronted by a realisation. And not a new one… That instead of giving advice, I need to … Continue reading No more advice!
Being heard
On the night of the shootings in Christchurch, I was watching the news when my brother video-called me. He asked if I was ok and I started to cry. He didn't say anything else, just held the space for me to be sad. His focused presence touched my heart. My brother often gives me a hard … Continue reading Being heard
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