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I’ve just finished reading “The promise that changes everything” by Nancy Kline.
The promise that changes everything….
I won’t interrupt you.
Ever since reading this book – I’ve been trying. Really trying. And mostly failing.
I console myself – that each conversation is another opportunity to practice. I pick myself up and try again.
The reads-lots-of-books-me – just wants to share this little tidbit and then I promise to be quiet…
The wants-to-seen-as-understanding-me – would love to share a similar experience – just so you know I get it…
The lets-move-this-along-me – wants to wrap this up – tick this box…
The this-feels-awkward-just-listening-and-not-talking-me – is beside herself with the tension. Surely one sentence would be helpful…
I am having success with one person though.
Assisted by the fact that she comes down on me like a ton of bricks if she gets even a whiff of advice.
We’re wired to move away from unpleasant experiences so by the third pile of bricks I got the message loud and clear. This friend does not want advice, shared experiences, or any other helpful tips or recommendations.
NO – not even “that one little thing”.
So when we meet up, I listen. Without interrupting. Without making suggestions.
I am grateful for the practice she is giving me. She is showing me that I can do it.
The trick now is to master not interrupting in all my other interactions.
Particularly with the people who are easier to interrupt and advise – the ones closest to me.
3 thoughts on “The promise that changes everything”
Jacquie, you have really captured the fact that there are different versions of ourselves that show up in our day-to-day life. Your post has reminded me that I want the version of me that reflects the image of Christ, to take pre-eminence. I’m not always successful but hope I am improving.
BTW Jacquie – I’m not sending you subliminal advice – honest!
Have a blessed week 🙂
Oh Carol – I need all the subliminal advice and prompting that is going. I am very grateful for God’s patience and correction and that each new day is a chance to try again. And again.
Speaking of grateful – I am for you my friend – and your wonderful teaching on Communion. This at-home-practice is such a blessing.