The promise that changes everything

Photo by Christina @ wocintechchat.com on Unsplash

I’ve just finished reading “The promise that changes everything” by Nancy Kline.

The promise that changes everything….

I won’t interrupt you.

Ever since reading this book – I’ve been trying. Really trying. And mostly failing.

I console myself – that each conversation is another opportunity to practice. I pick myself up and try again.

The reads-lots-of-books-me – just wants to share this little tidbit and then I promise to be quiet…

The wants-to-seen-as-understanding-me – would love to share a similar experience – just so you know I get it…

The lets-move-this-along-me – wants to wrap this up – tick this box…

The this-feels-awkward-just-listening-and-not-talking-me – is beside herself with the tension. Surely one sentence would be helpful…

__________

I am having success with one person though.

Assisted by the fact that she comes down on me like a ton of bricks if she gets even a whiff of advice.

We’re wired to move away from unpleasant experiences so by the third pile of bricks I got the message loud and clear. This friend does not want advice, shared experiences, or any other helpful tips or recommendations.

AT ALL.

NO – not even “that one little thing”.

NADA.

So when we meet up, I listen. Without interrupting. Without making suggestions.

I am grateful for the practice she is giving me. She is showing me that I can do it.

The trick now is to master not interrupting in all my other interactions.

Particularly with the people who are easier to interrupt and advise – the ones closest to me.