“I’m part of an anthology book project called ‘What is love’”. “Oh cool! Hey, guess what happened to me last week?” The disinterest is familiar, but I don’t let it catch or my disappointment show. Instead, I ask, “What happened”? Since that conversation, I’ve been reflecting on interest. Being interested. Receiving interest. It feels sparse … Continue reading The Gift of Interest: Why It Matters
Tag: Attention
Two Ears, One Mouth
I have set myself a “conversation” goal for 2025. Ask more questions. Say less. It's too easy after a little bit of listening to think I have enough information to give you all the answers. When a conversation repeats, despite my (self-assessed) fabulous advice, that’s a sign. What’s needed this time, is not the same … Continue reading Two Ears, One Mouth
The time is now…
Renovating an old house often uncovers items in need of repair or replacement. Interesting how many of those things get attributed to “some idiot” who “didn’t do it right the first time…” We’ll find ourselves discussing at length what “they” should have done. We might even try to make sense of their “why?” But there’s … Continue reading The time is now…
No more questions.
Last week my son wasn’t feeling well, so I asked him a series of questions about his symptoms. Within minutes, he said, “No more questions”. As I reflected on that later I realised that my enquiries into his well-being were also driven by a need in me to hear that he was ok. If he … Continue reading No more questions.
Word-less
Here is what I am working on now… Saying what I need to say with consideration of the person listening or reading. Doing my best not to take up too much time and more importantly to give them something for their time. To edit what I say so it is clear and succinct. A waffly, … Continue reading Word-less
A paragraph a day…
Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash My friend Sue Heatherington, author of the inspiring book Quiet Disruptors and who also publishes daily on her blog, gave me this helpful suggestion regarding writing “… perhaps restart your practice by making baby steps. Just a paragraph a day, in SFD mode, to develop a rhythm”. Sue’s suggestion was the first … Continue reading A paragraph a day…
Improvisational friends
I am constantly working on my listening skills and trying to keep the advice monster at bay. These good intentions of mine regularly need a reset, often daily, in an ongoing effort to “try again.” Michael Lewis on The Tim Ferriss podcast shared how he and his close friends tend to obey the rules … Continue reading Improvisational friends
Dangling carrots
An insight has inspired me to view “upsets” as dangling carrots vying for my attention. “Look at ME”, they say. “Talk about ME.” “Think about ME.” “STAY AWAKE with me!” They distract! Sometimes for hours. Sometimes for days and for one or two “issues”; actual years! Disrupting, distorting, derailing: Progress, productivity, creativity. This dangling carrot: … Continue reading Dangling carrots
How to concentrate
Although mindfulness mantras are all around us, and we nod in agreement about “being fully present”, the fact is that many of us struggle with concentration. The words “just focus”, aren’t that helpful when it comes to mastering our attention, yet it’s what we say to ourselves and to our children anytime concentration is … Continue reading How to concentrate
Notice quietly
Without labeling or processing or categorizing. Without judgment or comparison nor making sense of. I don’t think 'noticing' requires my interpretation. It might like my consideration. Or my attention. Or not. Maybe just noticing [fullstop] Quietly. Giving possibility then, to notice something more, given the opportunity.
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