The problem is me

Embed from Getty Images


When something isn’t going well with a relationship or a project we tend to look out.

He’s at fault!

She needs to change!

We might accept part of the problem but it’s common to justify putting off our change until we first see change in the other.

Everyone waits. Nothing happens.

Here’s what the Arbinger Institute suggests we say instead…

As far as I am concerned, the problem is me.

“The most important move consists of my putting down my resistance and beginning to act in the way I want the other person to act. We have to be willing to change even when others do not and to sustain the change whether or not others reciprocate.”

“Remember the principle to apply is, as far as I am concerned, the problem is me. I am the place to start. Others’ responses will depend mostly on what they see in me.”

For more insights and inspiring ways to be, read “The Outward Mindset”
and also “The Anatomy of Peace” by the Arbinger Institute

Also check out Whitney Johnson’s “Disrupt yourself podcast” and her interview with Jim Ferrell

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s